Aisling’s Preggo Blog

I guess the other part of my life I will probably write a lot about is work. I am a trainer for a call center that services one of the Big 3 car companies in the US. Recently a new company bought the call center and is currently in the process of outsourcing it to India.

To be honest, I am not that upset it is going to India. In fact it is kind of an out for me so to say. Hubby will be done school soon and I really want to be a house wife. I know, I know, many women reading this have just dropped their jaw but it is true. I just can’t deal with the drama of this place. I mean seriously, every day I wake up debating with myself on whether I should call in sick or not. Then I think maybe I’ll go there today and that’s it - my job is done. I don’t like standing on pins and needles, ya know? Especially for a crap-hole like this place. I wish I could describe it to you. I would assume most offices are the same but come on - do they have to be so mellow dramatic?

Everyone here is out for themselves. Personally, I can understand that when you feel like you can lose your job at any second, but does that make it any easier? This company has created this kind of atmosphere and wonder why productivity is down, why so many people are quitting, why so many just don’t show up anymore. But why throw someone else under a bus just so you can get ahead? Funny thing is you can’t get a head here. No room for promotion or raises or recognition. It’s ‘working-for-nothing’ from here on out!

I am getting outta here as soon as I can. I could leave as early as April, but I’ll have 8 weeks unpaid which is tough for our situation. Latest I am leaving is June. 8 weeks before the due date. I can’t tell you the amount of stress and pressure this place puts on you, even if they don;t give you a single direction. Just being here is draining enough.

Ugh.

Mum and I were sitting at my house this past weekend and I was telling her how I cooked beef for tacos and absolutely couldn’t eat it. I used all the same spices, all the same good stuff, yet I just couldn’t even go near it! I made some fries with it so I told hubby to leave me more of those rather than me eating the mean (yuck!). So what did I do? Ate all the fries!

 Same kinda thing happened the other week. I made my favorite homemade speghetti recipe and I could barely eat the pasta, much less the meat sauce - it was soooo repulsive! I was beyond saddened.

Apparently I was going on about this for a while and then Mum busts a gut laughing at me. I am all like “What?!” and shes telling me how funny I am. I didn’t get it at all. I didn’t realise I didn’t like the beef because of the pregnancy, I just figured I was nuts!

Then last night, I turn around and eat my Mother In Law’s meat sauce pasta (which normally I would politely decline….LOL) and I ate my plate AND my husband’s plate!

I guess I just have to get used to being strange.

As-salaamu alaykum,

Like I said in my User Info I am pregnant and have been forced by my mother to write a journal. LOL.
This is my second pregnancy - my first resulted in a missed miscarriage in May 2007. It was a really devistating event for me. Everytime I saw a pregnant women I felt useless and broken. My husband is and was so supportive and never blamed me for anything - I was in self-destruction mode. 

I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome - look it up) and was sure that it was because of me that everything went wrong and that I would never be able to fulfill the one thing I wanted to fulfill - becoming a parent. It took me quite a while to be able to visit my pregnant friends or hold their new babies. And of course, I think just about all of my close friends were pregnant or delivered around the time I was supposed to be due - go figure. But it seemed like the one month I was able to simply be happy for others and not feel upset at myself for their being pregnant, I became pregnant myself. I swear to you - the one month I finally come chart my BBT, or worry about TTC (my fellow TTC’ers know what I am talking about), I fall pregnant!

I sincerely feel blessed from Allah with this trust (amaanah) that He has given me. I am still so aware, however, that things can go wrong at any moment. Last pregnancy the baby stopped growing at 8.5 weeks, yet my body didn’t miscarry until 14 weeks! So the sac itself grew, my tummy grew and I thought all was well. So to say the least I am walking on eggshells right now. No lifting, no heavy physical work, just living. That’s it. 

So far it seems like my hormones are much stronger - I have tons of morning sickness (more nausea than anything, not too much actual sickness alhamdulillah), and I can not tell you how incredibly tired I am. My poor husband doesn’t get fed anymore…LOL!

I am trying to get a midwife but they are one midwife short and are basically pulling their hair out with the work load. I guess for now they are not accepting any August or September due dates until they find a new midwife. For now I have to go with an OB. I might go with this one doc here - he’s an OB and a fertility specialist, that knows so much about PCOS so that might be a great way to go. I haven’t ever had a male doctor though so I don’t know how comfortable I will be. I guess we will wait and see. 

Not sure what else to put out there yet. I am sure I’ll think of something.